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Wedding speech order

The usual order of wedding speeches in the UK, how long each runs, and how to change it. Make a plan and send each speaker their own private link.

At a traditional UK wedding the speeches come at the wedding breakfast in a set order: the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. Many couples now add the maid of honour, the bride and other family or friends. The toastmaster, or the venue host, introduces each speaker.

This page shows the usual order, how long each speech runs and how to change it. Make a plan in Merriwell and each speaker gets their own private link, so they can write, time and practise without an account.

The usual order of speeches

  1. Toastmaster or MC1 to 2 minutes

    Welcomes everyone, asks for quiet and introduces the first speaker.

  2. Father of the bride, or whoever hosts7 to 9 minutes

    Welcomes the guests, speaks about their child, welcomes the other family, and proposes the first toast.

  3. Groom6 to 8 minutes

    Thanks the guests, the families and the wedding party, speaks about their partner, and toasts the wedding party.

  4. Best manAbout 5 minutes

    Replies for the wedding party, tells one story, reads any messages from people who could not be there, and ends with a toast.

  5. Maid of honour or chief bridesmaid4 to 6 minutes

    Often added today. One story, a few words about the couple, and a toast.

  6. Bride3 to 5 minutes

    Often added today. A thank-you and a few words about their partner.

  7. Others: parents, siblings, friends2 to 4 minutes

    Ask each to keep to the slot you give them.

Together the speeches should come in under 40 minutes. Each one usually ends with a toast, so the glasses are filled before it begins.

How to plan the order of wedding speeches in 5 steps

  1. List who is speaking. Write down everyone who wants to speak, and who the couple would like to hear from. Not everyone needs to.

  2. Start from the usual order. Father of the bride, groom, best man, then maid of honour, bride and others. Change it to fit your day and your families.

  3. Give each speech a time. Father of the bride seven to nine minutes, groom six to eight, best man about five, maid of honour four to six. Keep all the speeches under forty minutes.

  4. Choose when they happen. Before the meal, between courses or after. Tell the toastmaster and the venue, so the kitchen and the speakers agree.

  5. Send each speaker their link. In your plan, each speaker gets a private link with their slot and your note. You see whether they have opened it, and how long their speech runs.

Examples, by length and tone

The examples for this page are being read through before we publish them. The template, the questions and the writer on this page work now.

The template, with timings: Toastmaster or MC script template

Here is a short speech for the toastmaster who opens the speeches. It is about a minute.

About 2 minutes of announcements to open the wedding breakfast, then a line to introduce each speaker.

  1. Welcomeabout 30 seconds

    Good afternoon, everyone. My name is [your name], and I will be your toastmaster today.

    [Say who you are, and how you know the couple, in a sentence].

  2. A few housekeeping notesabout 40 seconds

    [Housekeeping: where the fire exits are, whether photographs are welcome, phones, and where the cloakroom is].

    [The order of the afternoon, with times: the meal, the speeches, the cake, the evening guests].

  3. Introducing each speakerabout 30 seconds

    [Introduce the first speaker by name, with their relationship to the couple].

    [Introduce the next speaker, and the next, in the order the couple chose].

  4. Calling the toastabout 20 seconds

    Please be upstanding, and charge your glasses. [Name the toast the speaker has just given].

The questions that fill it in

  1. Who are you, and how do you know the couple? One sentence.
  2. What housekeeping do guests need to hear? Exits, photos, phones, cloakroom.
  3. What is the order of the afternoon? Meal, speeches, cake, evening.
  4. Who speaks first? Name and relationship.
  5. Who speaks next, and after that? Follow the couple's order.
  6. What toast follows each speech? To the couple, to the families.

Questions people ask

What is the traditional order of wedding speeches in the UK?
The father of the bride, the groom, then the best man. Today many weddings add the maid of honour, the bride and other family or friends after them.
Do the speeches come before or after the meal?
Traditionally after the meal, but plenty of couples have them before, or between courses, if they have a long list or a nervous speaker. Tell the toastmaster and the venue.
Can the bride or the maid of honour speak?
Yes, and it is more common now. They usually come after the best man, or earlier if the couple prefer. There is no rule.
How long should all the speeches take?
Under forty minutes together. Father of the bride seven to nine minutes, groom six to eight, best man about five, maid of honour four to six. Ask each speaker to keep to their slot.
Who introduces the speakers?
A toastmaster or MC, or the venue host, welcomes everyone, asks for quiet and introduces each speaker. If you have none, ask a friend to do it.
Where do the speeches sit if there is a registrar?
After the ceremony. The registrar or celebrant leads the ceremony, and the speeches wait for the wedding breakfast.
What if a parent is missing, or there are several sets of parents?
Ask whoever is closest to host the day to speak first, in the father of the bride's place. Several people can share a slot, or each give a short speech.

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