Wedding thank you card wording: what to write for every gift

A good wedding thank you card is short, specific and posted. Below: when to send it, what every card needs, and wording you can borrow for every kind of present, from something off your gift list to a cheque, a group present and help from a friend.

When to send wedding thank you cards

UK etiquette guides tend to say sooner rather than later: often within a week or two of the wedding, or of the present arriving if it came before. With a long list, a few weeks is understandable, and a card in the first few months is still welcome. Try to be done before Christmas.

A present that turns up before the wedding is thanked promptly, within a couple of weeks, and the day is left out of it.

If you are behind, write anyway. A late card is far better than none.

What every thank you card needs

1. Name the present. Say what it is, in your own words: the casserole dish, the framed print, your present. A card that just says "thanks for everything" could have come from anyone.
2. Say how you will use it. One line is enough: where it will go, what you will cook in it, what the money will go towards. For money, say what it is for, never how much.
3. Write about them. Mention the person, not just the present. If they came, say it was lovely to have them with you. If they could not, say you missed them.
4. Sign off with both names. Finish with your two names, signed by hand if you can. A few lines will do: warm and short beats long and stiff.

How to write a wedding thank you card in 4 steps

1. 1

   Keep a note of each present and who it is from. As each present arrives, write down what it is and who sent it, in their words if they wrote any. Do it that day, while you remember which card belonged to which parcel.

2. 2

   Start with the present. Begin with thank you and the present itself: "Thank you for the casserole dish." For money or a cheque, say "your gift" and never the amount.

3. 3

   Say how you will use it, and add a line about them. One sentence on what it will do, such as where it will go or what the money will go towards. Then one about the person: it was lovely to have them with you, or you missed them.

4. 4

   Sign with both names and post it. Sign with your own two names, by hand if you can. UK etiquette guides tend to say sooner is better, often within a week or two, and a card in the first few months is still welcome.

What to write in a wedding thank you card, for every present

Every example uses Alex and Sam writing to someone they know. Change the names and the present, and keep only what is true for you. Two or three tones each, so pick the one that sounds like you.

A gift from your gift list

Name the item and say how you will use it. They picked it from your gift list, so a line about using it tells them it was a good choice.

Dear Auntie Jo and Uncle Tom, Thank you so much for the casserole dish from our gift list. It has already had its first outing, a very good stew, and we thought of you as we served it. It was kind of you to choose something we wanted. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Margaret and David, Thank you for the dinner service from our wedding list. We use it every evening, and it makes an ordinary supper feel special. We were so glad to have you with us on the day, and we are grateful for your kindness. With warm wishes, Alex and Sam

A gift that was not on your list

Say what a nice surprise it was and why it suits you. If you already have two of them, keep that to yourself.

Dear Priya, Thank you for the hand-thrown bowl. It was not on our list, which makes it all the nicer: you chose it for us. It lives on the kitchen table and we see it first thing every morning. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Robert and Helen, We were delighted to unwrap your present, the framed print of the harbour. It hangs in our hall and reminds us of our walks along the front. Thank you for such a thoughtful and personal choice. With our thanks, Alex and Sam

Money or a cheque

Thank them for the gift, and say what it will go towards if you like. Do not write the amount, even to say how grateful you are.

Dear Granny, Thank you for the cheque and the lovely card. It is going towards the sofa we have been saving for, and we will think of you every time we sit on it. Lots of love, and thank you again. Alex and Sam

Dear Frank and Maria, Thank you very much for your kind gift. We are putting it towards our first home, and we are most grateful. We hope you will come to supper as soon as we have chairs for everyone. With love and thanks, Alex and Sam

Dear Danny, Thank you for the money in your card. It has gone into our honeymoon fund, and we will post you a card from the trip. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

If you are not sure what the money will be for, "it means a great deal" is enough. It is a thank you, not a receipt.

A gift from several people

Write to everyone who joined in, and name them all. If the group lives in different households, a short card to each is kinder.

Dear Mia, Ben, Lucy and Theo, Thank you all for the cast iron frying pan. It was so good of the four of you to go halves on it, and we love that it came from all of you. Supper at ours soon. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

To our friends from the Thursday quiz team, Thank you for the set of wine glasses, a present from every one of you. We pictured you all as we unwrapped them, and we shall raise a glass to you at our first dinner party. With love and thanks, Alex and Sam

A present with no name on it

First try to find out who sent it: ask around the family, look at the delivery note or the gift list order, and look through the packaging. Once you know, thank them as you would anyone. If you cannot find out, say so, and ask for the thanks to be passed on.

Dear Cass, Your mum told us the linen tea towels were from you. They came with no card, so we spent weeks puzzling over it. Thank you. They are the softest we have ever owned. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

To whoever left the parcel of copper pans, There was no card with them, and we would love to thank you properly. If they were from you, please let us know so we can say it in person. They are already the best things in our kitchen. With thanks, Alex and Sam

Ask a parent or a sibling to pass the second one on, or put it in the family group chat. Do not guess and thank the wrong person.

A voucher or an experience

Say when you plan to use it. It tells them you will enjoy it, and it saves them wondering.

Dear Noor and Imran, Thank you for the voucher for the cookery class. We have picked a Saturday in the spring and we cannot wait. What a good thing to do together. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Walter and Ann, Thank you for the restaurant voucher. We are saving it for our first anniversary supper, and we shall think of you both when we go. It was a lovely thing to give us. With our thanks, Alex and Sam

Help rather than a present

Someone made the cake, drove the car, played the music or did the flowers. Thank them for what they did, and say what it meant to you.

Dear Auntie Claire, Thank you for making our cake. It looked beautiful and tasted even better, and people are still talking about the lemon layers. We know how many hours it took, and we are so grateful. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Rosa, Thank you for doing the flowers. They made the whole marquee smell of summer, and we have dried a few for the mantelpiece. Your time and your skill were a gift to us. With our thanks, Alex and Sam

A present from someone who could not come

Thank them for the present and say you missed them. Do not thank them for coming, because they did not.

Dear Hannah and Eli, Thank you for the lovely serving dish. We missed you on the day, and we are so glad you thought of us. Do come for lunch soon and we will show you the photos. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Uncle Paul, Thank you for your present and your kind card. We were sorry you could not be with us, and we thought of you during the day. We hope to see you before long. With love, Alex and Sam

A present that came before the wedding

Send these soon, and keep them about the present. Leave out the day, because it has not happened yet.

Dear Auntie Beth, Thank you for the linen napkins you posted. They arrived this morning and we love them. It means so much to have your support as we start our life together. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Tessa, Thank you for the party, and for the tea towels. We feel very looked after. We shall think of you each time we wash up. With love, Alex and Sam

Dear Colleen and George, Thank you for your kind engagement present. We were touched that you thought of us, and we are already enjoying the chopping board. With our thanks, Alex and Sam

A present that arrived months later

It is never too late to say thank you. Say the present arrived, say thanks, and apologise once if your card is late. Then stop.

Dear Ian, Your present reached us a little while after the wedding, and it was a lovely surprise. Thank you for the picture frame. It now holds our favourite photo from the day. We are sorry our thanks took so long. Lots of love, Alex and Sam

Dear Margo, Thank you for the card and for the present tucked inside it. We are so sorry this has taken until Christmas. The serving tray has been used almost every weekend since it arrived. With love and thanks, Alex and Sam

A present from your parents or your work

For your parents, thank them for what they did as well as what they gave. For a workplace, write one card and send it to whoever organised the present, so they can share it.

Dear Mum and Dad, Thank you for everything you did to make our wedding what it was, and for the bar. We toasted you more than once. We could not have asked for more, and we love you. Alex and Sam

Dear everyone at Brightfield, Thank you for the picnic blanket and for the card with so many kind messages. Every one made us smile. We plan to take it to the beach this summer and think of you all. With thanks to every one of you, Alex and Sam

What not to write

• Do not write an amount. Not "thank you for the generous cheque", and not the figure. Say what you will do with it.
• Do not compare presents, or say one was more than you expected. Each card is read on its own.
• Do not use a title for the two of you, or sign with a joke. Sign with your own two names.
• Do not say "thank you for coming" to someone who was not there. Say you missed them.
• Do not apologise at length. One "sorry this took a while" is plenty.
• Do not save the thanks for a group chat. A person who sent a present is owed a card of their own.

Keep track of who gave what

The thank-you list is part of your free Merriwell account. It is for the weeks after the wedding, when the presents have arrived and the list is long.

• A list of who gave what and who is left to thank. Every present goes against a person, so nothing is lost. Any amounts you note stay private to the two of you.
• A free writing sheet to print, with the card wording and the envelope name and address together, so you can copy them out by hand.
• A plain starter card for each person, with no AI needed, written from what you told us about the present and whether they came.
• Cards written for you by AI: 10 free tries, then Plus. One try covers drafting every card in one go; each time you ask for a new version counts as one.

The cards use only what you have recorded. They never invent a present, never name an amount, and never see an address.

Thank you cards we post for you are coming later.

Start your thank-you list

Questions people ask

When should I send wedding thank you cards?

UK etiquette guides tend to say sooner rather than later, often within a week or two of the wedding, or of the present arriving if it came earlier. With a long list many couples take a few weeks, and a card in the first few months is still welcome. Try not to let it run past Christmas.

Should I mention the money in a thank you card for a cheque or cash?

Thank them for the gift, and say what it will go towards if you like: your first home, the honeymoon, a new sofa. Leave out the amount. It is the same whether it came as money in a card, a cheque or a bank transfer.

What do I write if a present has no name on it?

First try to find out who sent it. Ask around the family, look at the delivery note or the gift list order, and look through the packaging. Once you know, write a normal card. If you cannot find out, ask a parent or sibling to pass on a line: "We loved the copper pans and would love to thank whoever sent them." Do not guess.

Should wedding thank you cards be handwritten?

Handwritten is still the norm, and the best choice for grandparents and older friends. A typed message, signed by hand, is fine when your list is long. If a present came by bank transfer, a quick text or email is a polite first thanks, and the card follows. Cards are posted with a stamp, so allow time for them to arrive.

Can I send one thank you card for a group present?

Yes, if you name everyone who joined in. If the group lives in different households, a short card to each is kinder. For a present from work, write one card and send it to whoever organised it, so they can share it round.

What if the present was late, or I am behind with my cards?

Write anyway. A present that turns up months after the wedding still gets a card. Say it arrived, thank them, and apologise once if you are late. A thank you tucked into your Christmas cards is better than nothing, but a card of its own is better still.

Do I thank someone who could not come to the wedding?

Yes, for the present. Say you missed them and that you hope to see them soon. Do not write "thank you for coming", because they did not.

Do I thank people for presents that arrive before the wedding?

Yes, and promptly. Keep the card about the present and leave the day out of it, because it has not happened yet. Engagement presents are thanked the same way.

How long should a wedding thank you card be?

Three or four short sentences will do: the present, how you will use it, a line about them, and thanks again. Warm and short beats long and stiff.